"Dnevno dobro"

[milan_kenshi]

Zdravo svima,
  ovde ću postavljati odabrane tekstove i delove članaka sa sajta Dailygood.org. Izvinjavam se unapred što će izbor svakako biti pristrasan, nadam se da će još kome biti nešto od ovoga korisno ili zanimljivo. 
Kako nam izazivanje osećaja strahopoštovanja (kako grozna reč, poštovanje izazvano strahom?) odnosno osećanja čuđenja i divljenja nečemu, može pomoći da budemo manje egocentrični. U ovom slučaju, radi se o izazivanju tog osećaja kod dece kako bi bila manje fokusirana na sebe i pojmila veličinu sveta oko njih.

When we see a grand vista in nature such as Victoria Falls, or experience an inspiring work of art such as Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy” or Michelangelo’s Pieta, or ponder the phenomenal inner strength of a great soul like Gandhi who non-violently led India to independence, we often feel two things:
 1) a sense of vastness that gives us
 2) a new perspective on the world and our place in it.
This is awe.
Dacher’s lab has found that awe makes us feel very small and like we’re in the presence of something greater than ourselves. We also may lose awareness of our “self” and feel more connected to the world around us.
Imagine the potential of this life-changing emotion for students—and, in particular, for our hyper-self-focused teens! Since adolescence is a crucial period for identity-formation, some researchers have suggested that adolescence is a particularly important time to experience awe—it could help them see themselves as deeply connected to the world around them, not the center of it. Inducing the uplifting experience of awe could also be a positive way to keep narcissism in check.
While scientists haven’t yet examined if this temporary loss of self-focus directly impacts empathy levels, they do know that awe makes people feel less impatient and more inclined to volunteer their time to help others—strong evidence that it makes them feel more connected and committed to something bigger than themselves.
http://www.dailygood.org/story/602/an-awesome-way-to-make-kids-less-self-absorbed-vicki-zakrzewski/

[Sati]

Bas lep i praktican tekst za one koji se bave odgajanjem dece 

Ono sto mi je takodje zanimljivo u njemu i sto me ujedno rastuzuje je istrazivanje nivoa empatije kod studenata. Ispitivano ih je 14.000 izmedju 1979. i 2009. i to istrazivanje je pokazalo da taj nivo stalno opada. Narocito je taj trend vidljiv posle 2000. godine. Ne znam sta bi bio razlog za takav trend, ali u svakom slucaju to nije dobro :(

[milan_kenshi]

Ovde se mogu naći linkovi na nekoliko istraživanja o empatiji i o tome šta pomaže da se ona razvije
http://www.dailygood.org/story/625/what-is-empathy-http-greatergood-berkeley-edu/

Evo da navedem odlomak iz jednog od njih koje mi je bilo baš zanimljivo:
"Regardless of their actual Socio-Economic Status, people temporarily made to feel lower class were better able to discern others’ emotions; people temporarily made to feel upper class showed worse empathic accuracy.
This suggests that there’s something about the experience of high status that impedes our ability to connect with others emotionally. But it also provides hope that, with proper encouragement, even upper class people can become more sensitive to others’ emotions.
“What our research is suggesting is that upper class people don’t have a lower capacity for empathy,” says Kraus. “They just pay less attention. And if you can put them in a situation where you get them to pay more attention, you can get some real empathy from people who are wealthy and affluent.”
(iz http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/you_cant_buy_empathy )


Pre par godina sam čitao o jednom istraživanju koje je zadivljujuće jednostavno, a rezultati su bili šokantni. Istraživački tim je postavio kamere na pešački prelaz, i beležio koji automobili nisu stali da propuste pešake. Ispostavilo se, što bi se reklo crno-na-belo, da vozači skupljih automobila su imali manje obzira prema pešacima. A ovo istraživanje je inače izvedeno u Americi, gde je kultura lepog ponašanja u saobraćaju izrazito visoka! Zaključak je, naravno, da naša percepcija o sopstvenom visokom statusu nagriza našu sposobnost da saosećamo sa drugima.

[Sati]

Sujeta je jedna od nečistoća uma, koja čini da imamo pogrešno, umesto ispravnog razumevanja i viđenja stvari. Zaslepljuje nas da od sopstvene zamišljene veličine bukvalno ne vidimo druge ili ih vidimo tek kao nužno zlo :(

[milan_kenshi]

Evo još jednog dobrog članka - o malim lažima i prevarama.

Pet pravila ponašanja (Five precepts) su jasno izložena. Opet, naš mozak je u stanju da ih vrlo često racionalizuje, i interpretira (tj. iskrivi) tako da radimo samo za naše trenutno kratkoročno blagostanje. To nam je pogotovu lako ukoliko smo u okruženju gde i svi ostali to rade.

http://www.dailygood.org/story/686/the-honest-truth-about-dishonesty-knowledge-wharton/

"Codes of conduct are incredibly important for companies. But companies are wrong in how flexible they make these codes of conduct. When you have a serious code, it is easier to see if you are on the right or wrong side of it. When you have something that is very fuzzy, it is hard for us to see that we are violating it. Think about something like Alcoholics Anonymous. The rule is very clear. No drinking whatsoever. What would happen if the rule was half a glass a day? We would get very big glasses. You would drink today on account of tomorrow. There will be all kinds of tradeoffs. In general, we do not like very clear-cut rules because we understand the exceptions. We understand that we cannot create a good rule. But good rules really help us. They help us to figure out for ourselves what is good. Dieting, by the way, is the same thing. If you have a clear rule about what you eat and do not eat, it is really easy…."

[milan_kenshi]

http://www.dailygood.org/story/734/a-blessing-for-one-who-is-exhausted-john-o-donohue/

"Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world."

[milan_kenshi]

This, I think, is how we as grownups in the modern world often go through life. Our version of being good is being productive. Choosing constant distraction or busyness — two sides of the same coin — we seek to avoid not boredom and passivity, but end up robbing ourselves of presence, because presence presupposed a detachment from what we look forward to, what is to come, and a mindful groundedness in what is.
[/size]This is the cultural pathology of our time: If we stopped doing what we do, we might not know who we are. As I’ve reflected before, to cultivate the art of presence in the age of productivity is no easy feat.
http://www.dailygood.org/story/799/why-the-capacity-for-boredom-is-a-good-thing-maria-popova/

[Sati]

živela dosada! 

[milan_kenshi]

Za one koji se možda pitaju koliko je u praksi potrebno da steknemo novu naviku (npr. 15 minuta dnevno meditacije?  )
evo nekih rezultata istraživanja.
http://www.dailygood.org/story/715/how-long-does-it-actually-take-to-form-a-new-habit-james-clear/

Phillippa Lally is a health psychology researcher at University College London. In a study published in theEuropean Journal of Social Psychology, Lally and her research team decided to figure out just how long it actually takes to form a habit.
The study examined the habits of 96 people over a 12-week period. Each person chose one new habit for the 12 weeks and reported each day on whether or not they did the behavior and how automatic the behavior felt.
Some people chose simple habits like “drinking a bottle of water with lunch.” Others chose more difficult tasks like “running for 15 minutes before dinner.” At the end of the 12 weeks, the researchers analyzed the data to determine how long it took each person to go from starting a new behavior to automatically doing it.
The answer?
On average, it takes more than 2 months before a new behavior becomes automatic — 66 days to be exact. And how long it takes a new habit to form can vary widely depending on the behavior, the person, and the circumstances. In Lally’s study, it took anywhere from 18 days to 254 days for people to form a new habit. [1]
In other words, if you want to set your expectations appropriately, the truth is that it will probably take you anywhere from two months to eight months to build a new behavior into your life — not 21 days.
Interestingly, the researchers also found that “missing one opportunity to perform the behavior did not materially affect the habit formation process.” In other words, it doesn’t matter if you mess up every now and then. Building better habits is not an all-or-nothing process.

[Sati]

Ovo mi zvuči vrlo ohrabrujuće 

"In other words, it doesn’t matter if you mess up every now and then. Building better habits is not an all-or-nothing process."

I još nešto što sam našao sledeći link na tom članku:

"What feels like struggle and frustration is often skill development and growth. What looks like little pay and no recognition is often the price you have to pay to discover your best work. In other words, what looks like failure is often the foundation of success."

[milan_kenshi]

Evo još jedne dobre izreke koju sam danas pročitao, na tu temu:
"Failure is simply a cost you have to pay on the way to being right."

[Bodhisattva Mahadeva]

Super clanci 

[Acko]

Često pomislim kako promijeniti život u stvari ne znači ništa drugo do promijeniti navike, koliko god to možda bilo u suprotnosti sa onim ustaljenim pričama o ljudima čiji se život promijenio naglo, iznenada. Po mom skromnom mišljenju, život se u najvećem broju slučajeva ne mijenja na neki spektakularan način, već postepeno, što tu promjenu ne čini manje vrijednom.

Moram da dodam da sam u poslednje 2-3 godine pročitao priličan broj tekstova na ovu tematiku, a izdvojio bih i posebno preporučio sajt www.zenhabits.net, koji ima značajan uticaj na ono kako danas živim, ko zna, možda bi pomoglo i još nekom. Još više sam međutim naučio kroz sopstvenu praksu, naime već skoro godinu i po vodim svojevrsni dnevnik navika koje pokušavam da promijenim, a iskustva su brojna i raznovrsna. Meni je ova tematika veoma inspirativna i bio bih rad da ponekad možda podijelimo i po koje iskustvo, kako iz teorije a još više iz prakse.

Milane, hvala na ovom linku, zanimljiva i korisna informacija o prosječnom vremenu potrebnom da se usvoji nova navika.  

[Sati]

Acko, daj neke primere iz svoje prakse.
Možda inspiriše i još nekog da prokomentariše 

[Acko]

Moja skromna praksa je inspirisana jednim od principa o kojima sam naučio na sajtu zenhabits.net, a on glasi ''one habit at a time''. Za one koji ne znaju engleski, ako takvih uopšte ima, ovo bi otprilike značilo da istovremeno NE radimo na promjeni više od 1 navike, nego isključivo na jednoj. To je princip koji mi je odmah djelovao zanimljivo i inspirativno, i odlučio sam da pokušam (nakon što u više navrata nisam imao pretjeranog uspjega upravo u suprotnoj varijanti, da promijenim više navika odjednom).

Sa ''programom'' sam krenuo u julu 2013. U prvoj godini, dakle od jula 2013. zaključno sa junom 2014., pokušao sam da promijenim 12 navika, dakle svakog mjeseca po jednu. Negdje sam uspio, negdje nisam. Tamo gdje mi ide, trudim se da održim nivo, tamo gdje ne uspijevam, pokušavam da ne odustanem. U svakom slučaju, mislim da sam 1. jula 2014. bio bolji u odnosu na godinu dana ranije. Za drugu godinu, za period jul 2014. - jun 2015., broj navika će biti 8. Već planiram dodatno smanjenje za 3. godinu, što možda govori u prilog tome da sam na dobrom putu da dođem do zaključaka sličnih onima sa kojima nas je Milan upoznao svojim linkom, u vezi vremena potrebnog da se usvoji nova navika.

Neki od najvažnijih zaključaka do kojih sam došao:

-praksa je važnija od teorije.

Teorija je važna ali tek kroz praksu dolazi do napretka. Kroz praksu se dublje i bolje uči.

-one habit at a time.

Bolje jedna po jedna navika nego sve odjednom, makar je takvo moje iskustvo.

-postoji tek nekoliko velikih navika.

Jedan od razloga zbog kojih postepeno smanjujem broj navika na kojima ću da radim je i taj što sam sve najznačajnije navike, tj. nekoliko njih, ispucao u prvoj godini. U suštini nema mnogo tih velikih navika i kod svakog su slične. Iako brojem male, ako se one dovedu u red, preostaje rad na detaljima i sitnijim navikama, koji možda i nije toliko važan.

-prioriteti su temelj organizovanosti.

Određivanje prioriteta je zbilja u osnovi svake organizovanosti. Prioriteta obično ne može da bude više od nekoliko, o čemu god da se radi, i jednom kada ih odredimo, povećava se naše vrijeme, fokus i efikasnost.

-neki oblik odricanja je uvijek prisutan.

Čovjek ne može da radi više stvari odjednom, i svaki put kada nešto radimo, mi istovremeno žrtvujemo nešto drugo, ono što u datom trenutku ne radimo. Ovo je u vezi sa prioritetima. Treba da znamo šta želimo i da budemo svjesni da sve zahtjeva neku žrtvu. Mnogi od nas žele veličanstvena postignuća, da promijenimo svijet, pomognemo drugima, i to je svakako divno, ali jesmo li svjesni potrebne žrtve, i jesmo li spremni na nju? Velike stvari zahtijevaju velike žrtve.

-um je preteča svih stvari.

Borba sa navikama u stvari nije ništa drugo nego borba sa sopstvenim umom. Um je taj koji zabušava, racionališe i sl., ali ovaj dio je već dobro poznat članovima našeg foruma pa tu nemam ništa posebno da dodam.

Sigurno sam bio štur ali ovo su neki od najvažnijih zaključaka koji su mi prvi pali na pamet, ima toga sigurno još, neka bude u nekoj od narednih poruka ako ova tema još bude aktuelna. U svakom slučaju, svima koje ova tematika zanima ja bih još jednom preporučio sajt zenhabits.net, autor redovno izbaca nove tekstove i tamo možete dobiti mnogo bolji uvid u sve ovo nego na osnovu mojih skromnih poruka.